Saturday, April 10, 2010

Freefalling Faith


Have you ever believed you could fly? Really fly?

Years ago, my family owned a cottage in the middle of a wooded area near a river. The cottage was a place to escape to for some family time each summer. My brother and I were fairly young, I was perhaps about 5 years old.

Young. Spunky. And spirited.

Some things don’t change much over the years… Like the young part. Don't know about the spunky part, though -- am I spunky? :o)

We had a set of stairs on the outside of the cottage that led straight up to an attic/loft that could only be reached from those stairs. It was quite a steep climb, as you can well imagine. That summer, I had seen the Mary Poppins movie. It must have made quite an impression on me. See, I had this umbrella… can you tell where this is going yet? I thought so.

I had reckless faith.

In just about anything.

I believed I could send toys to God, remember? I even gave it a try with aluminum plates, string, balloons and toy army men. I believed I had to obey my father regardless of what he was doing, that was my job no matter how much I hated it. I also believed that Mary Poppins (and therefore humans) could fly with the help of an umbrella.

Up the stairs I climbed. I don’t remember from which step I jumped, all I remember was experiencing the jump as though it happened in slow motion…

“1… 2… 3… Float!”

“Wait, I think I did it wrong........
... I'm going in the wrong ----THUD.”

Groans and moans.Uhm, if there were banisters, perhaps I could hitch a ride back up and try that one again. Wonder why it didn’t work… Maybe I was supposed to blink first?

It knocked the wind outta me, but it didn’t knock the wind out of my sails. I tried it a few more times, convinced that there had to be a way.

Eventually, the umbrella broke.

Pity, because it was a really cute umbrella… and I still had a ton of faith left over.

In hindsight, it’s not the lack of faith that made the attempts a failure, (or the umbrella), it was the root of the faith.

It was reckless for me to base my faith on the things of this world, movie characters or real human beings. Crashing was inevitable. (Broken umbrellas somewhat optional.) A false faith will eventually give way to failures and frustrations, and in the end, will lead to the refusal to risk any further attempts. Enthusiasm vanishes. Insecurity and doubt creep in and make themselves at home. Faith is damaged and diminishes.

If someone had faith in me, he or she would eventually be disappointed, because I’m a sinner, I’m far from perfect, I stumble, I fall, I make mistakes… I’ll let you down, it’s inevitable. I’m human.

Don’t follow me, follow Him.

The root of false faith isn’t strong enough for a freefall. God alone is strong enough for you to freefall.

My faith in God has replaced the false faith of my youth with fearless faith.

When I lock my eyes into His, I know that the focus on Him will allow me to fearlessly freefall. Mary Poppins never knew what she was missing. There is nothing quite like it, and best of all, there's nothing reckless about it. If my eyes aren't on Him, I can't jump. I can't leap. I can't make one single step forward in true faith. When my eyes are on Him, there is no hesitation.

Gone are the days of climbing before I jump…
I’ll jump from where ever I am.

Gone are the days of jumping a dozen times before giving up…
I will jump as often as it takes.

Gone are the days of getting the wind knocked out of me...
Fearless faith takes my breath away right from the start.

The landing is never a concern. I’ll land in God’s hands every single time. I have to believe it, or I wouldn't have the faith to freefall.

He is sufficient.

He is enough.

He is worth it.

No umbrellas required.



Mallory said...

Um, yeah...And people think I'm smart.

Those are poetic, God-breathed words.

God-breathed words that have left me nearly speechless.

I love your heart. <3

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