Make It Personal

You've seen them on TV... the children with dirty faces, sad eyes, and threadbare clothes. Children living in devastating poverty, in need of proper nutrition, health care and education. Children desperate enough to pick through garbage for survival.

(Photo credits, Jennifer McKinney / "MckMama")

Perhaps you've watched the entire show, moved, but unsure that one person can really make a difference. Does your sponsorship really change a life? Are these children real, and do they really need our help?


Six Compassion Bloggers recently flew to Africa along with four trip leaders to answer those questions for us. You can't always believe what you see on TV, but Compassion International's work is real. And so is the need for sponsors.

I encourage you to read their posts, like this one, and this one... will you? Will you make it personal?

The things is, though... when we're simply on the outside, looking in... when we're witnesses called to action but not yet in action...


It's not personal.



It's not relational.



It's not enough.



It's not enough...



It's not enough to say "someone else will help them". That someone can be you.


It's not enough to say "but I can't afford $41/month". The majority of us have enough if we're honestly willing to part with it. Is a life worth a coffee a day? A meal in a restaurant? What would you be willing to give up to save a life?


It's not enough to say "I can't." God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.


Will you trust Him and take the step forward to release a child from poverty in His name?

Will you live simply so that they may simply live?

Will you consider releasing them from poverty, so that they can release you from wealth?

(Photo credits: Jennifer McKinney, "MckMama")

Will you..........


Consider sponsorship?






If you live in Canada, click HERE
If you are in the U.S., click HERE


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Goodbye Socks, Hello Honduras!!!

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My relationship with Compassion Canada began five years ago in May of 2005 at a Geoff Moore & Mark Schultz concert at our church. My best friend, my mother and I had come to hear Mark Schultz, but we were moved to hear Geoff Moore speak of his first trip to Haiti. Through recounting his experiences, he taught us what sponsorship could do, and reminded us of the Gospel teachings to take care of the poor... mom and I knew that we had to do what we could.

I was not working at the time, so sponsoring a child was out of reach financially. My mother offered to financially support one sponsorship if I would help her with the correspondence. I can't thank her enough for being willing to do this with me.

That's when we started sponsoring Bessy, a little girl from Honduras who stole our heart.

This May, we will celebrate five years of having sponsored Bessy.



I can't say this without completely choking up...


This June, I will celebrate those five years of sponsorship by meeting Bessy in person, in Honduras, while on a Compassion Advocate Tour of Honduras...


It took years of prayer, but less than 24 hours for God to reach deep into my heart and pull out three cherished dreams, making them a reality. Not only has He made it possible, He has made it abundantly clear that this is what He would have me do for Him.

To know that He didn't have to...

Yet to know that He wanted to.


There.
Are.
No.
Words.

Kneeling in praise tonight,
In worship,
In awe...

Head bowed in a prayer of gratitude,
Humbled...
Faithful...

And barefoot... without a hope of ever finding the socks that God blew off my feet this past week.







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Hello God, Goodbye Socks!

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It's no secret... I have a passion for Compassion.

I've been a sponsor for almost five years, and the more involved I get into sponsorship and Compassion as an organization, the more that passion grows.



My heart's desires have been as relentless as the commitment they each would require:

1. To become a Compassion Advocate.

2. To become a Compassion Blogger.

3. To travel with Compassion to witness first hand the work that Compassion is doing, to help them in their work, and to share their work with others.

God and I have had many front porch prayers about this... The more I prayed about it, the stronger those desires became. The more I prayed, the more things began to fall into place in preparation for those dreams to become a reality.

I knew that the Compassion Advocacy was simply a matter of God's timing and not mine. The same applied to traveling with Compassion, although all along, I had felt it would take place in 2010 or 2011. The Compassion Blogger prayer was a bit more complicated. They don't have "Compassion Bloggers" in Canada the same way they do in the U.S.


I received an email last week saying that my Compassion Advocacy application had been received and was currently under review. They told me that they would be in touch with me this week.


Kayla Tompkins from Compassion Canada called me today to conduct a semi-formal interview for my Compassion Advocacy application. That one phone call combined two of my favorite topics; it didn't take any effort to get me to share my heart for Jesus and Compassion.

She is waiting to hear back from Pastor Jim, since I named him as a reference, but other than that, it's official...

Dream # 1 has turned into a reality!

I am a Compassion Advocate.

That alone would have been sufficient. I have learned to be content in what He gives us... but I am also learning that we serve a God who likes to blow our socks off :o) I'm acquiring a taste to having my socks blown off, much like some people acquire a taste for mushrooms or diet Coke with lime... I'll stick to the "go barefoot boldly", thanks! God seems to get a kick out of that these days!


Compassion Canada has a different advocacy program than Compassion in the U.S. I asked Kayla about this today, and she explained that Compassion Canada doesn't have "Compassion Bloggers" in the same way they do in the U.S. Instead, there is one Compassion blog off the main Compassion website page, and the Regional Advocacy Coordinators contribute to this blog. I expressed my heart's desires to become a "Compassion Blogger" and to contribute to a Compassion blog, and she said that they would be willing to have me contribute as a guest Compassion Blogger, in fact, they'd appreciate some help with this. I'm thrilled!!!!

Dream # 2 has also turned into reality!!!

I WILL blog for Compassion, here, or THERE!

Two out of three would have been more than enough for one day one year (or eight), but God wasn't finished. You know.... the whole socks thing.


Compassion Canada generally has two trips to Compassion countries each year. I remember longing to join them on their trip to Honduras last fall, but that trip was canceled due to the political unrest in Honduras. The situation in Honduras has improved, and the trip has been scheduled for the end of June. They're also going to Peru in September, as well as the Dominican Republic and Philippines next year. No plans for Bolivia or Thailand in the horizon, but those may come in 2012 or later.

Honduras, though... boy oh boy, God sure knows how to get my attention.

We have sponsored three little girls in Honduras, including the one we've sponsored the longest, Bessy... The trip would involve getting first hand experience with Compassion centers, meeting with families and children in the Compassion program, and personally seeing what Compassion really does. And so much more! What an incredible opportunity to dive into the work Compassion does in order to come back armed with the knowledge and experience that I would have the opportunity to put to use in the advocacy work. I'd also get to meet with Bessy. As if I needed more of an incentive.



It would be a dream come true.


The question is, is it time for that dream to come true?



A few days ago, I wrote a post on my family blog about the spiritual side to finances, God's provisions, trusting Him, tithing, serving, giving it all to Him.

It's not a coincidence that within days, I was asked if I would join Compassion in their trip to Honduras.

I was told that I have until March 5th to make a decision and pay the deposit... after which, I will have until March 19th to complete the payment for the trip. Less than three weeks from now.



I have been praying for this opportunity for a few years. It's coming to reality so fast, my head is spinning!

Some of my questions...

Is this what God would have me do? That is the most important question. It doesn't matter to me how much I've dreamed of this, if God doesn't want it, I don't want it. I mean that.


My heart tells me to leap, to free fall into His arms, that He has provided the timing and the opportunity... that everything fell into place not by hazard, but by Him. I believe that He will provide, He will fill the gap, He will catch me. When I said that I'd offer everything and follow Him, I meant it. I'd call them right now and book the whole thing, no hesitation. I have the faith, I do, I just want to be sure that I make a wise decision...

For example: It would probably be wise to run this by Terry first. *ahem* I'm sure that's part of His intentions. God is pretty thorough that way, never wastes an opportunity. It'd be just like Him to give me less than two days to break this idea gently to Terry. Oh boy.


Ahhhh, I love moments like this. What a great opportunity to learn.


Will you join me in prayer? I'd love to hear your thoughts, your insight, what you would do... please take the time to share your thoughts in the comments or by email. That's the beauty of the blogging community... we're not alone.


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A Little Is Much

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I loved every season as a little girl, but especially summer. My mom was a school teacher, and every summer, I looked forward to shadowing her as she went about her daily routine.

My mom was always up at the crack of dawn. To this day, she isn't capable of sleeping in. In order to make the best of the sunshine, she would set out to hang a load of clothes up on the clothesline early in the morning. The sun rose on the front side of the house, and as the clothes were hung one by one, the backyard seemed to stay suspended in shaded slumber, waiting for the second sunrise. The laundry would be ready and waiting when the sun peeked over the roof line and warmed up the world that stood waiting behind our house.

I'd wander outside with her, usually wearing my threadbare nightgown. If she was late getting the laundry out, you'd usually find me in my beloved blue jean overalls with the Pink Panther patch, and a pale butter cream yellow zip up hoodie. Barefoot, always. Sometimes, I'd tiptoe in the grass still heavy with dew, and crouch down to closely examine the patterns of the spiderwebs and the way the dew would highlight the silk threads with tiny dots. The rest of the time, I would perch myself on the deck and hand my mom the clothespins while she hung the clothes.

I remember the smell of the clean, wet laundry as it was lifted out of the basket and onto the clothesline. Tide. She always used Tide, and still does. I preferred the way it smelled once the sun had finished drying it au naturel... I can close my eyes right now and hear the sound of the crisp sheets flapping in the breeze and the rusty squeak of the clothesline reel as it bore the weight of the clothes. In my mind, I can still feel the stiffness of the clothes and towels as they were dropped back into the waiting basket. I loved that even though I was too small to carry the basket of wet laundry out to the clothesline, I could always help carry it back into the house once it was dry.


It always seemed neat to me that the original pile was heavier and smaller, but the final outcome was lighter and seemed to take up more room.


I used to imagine that it was the volume of the sunlight and love pouring into the laundry that made it expand that way.


Kind of like when the Son pours into us, we feel lighter, and life becomes more full.


Nothing from these memories compares to snuggling up to my mom on the clothesline deck and inhaling the scent of her flannel pajamas... the smell of fabric softener on her pajamas was intoxicating. I couldn't get enough, and I couldn't resist sinking my face into her pajamas as I hugged her for as long as I could. Sometimes, I'd just hug her leg as she hung laundry. I remember hugging her leg as she tried to walk around the house and do her chores. If I could have, I would have breathed her in so that I could carry her around within me all day long.

I don't think I could have possibly loved my mom more.


Although we don't use fabric softener now because I've grown an intolerance to scented products, I can perfectly describe the scent to you. It has a Hug scent to it. I'll never grow an intolerance to that. The hug scent is permanently engraved in the memory of my heart.





It might be the little things, but in the math of life, it's the little things that aren't so little.


A little is much.






It was my love for her that modeled my love for God. It is now my love for God that models my love for my mother.







My love for her even then, pales in comparison to my love for God today. In my childhood, she was the center of my world, even though I had an awareness of God. Now, He is the center of my world even though I have an awareness of her.




Let's rewind back to my childhood, and adapt that memory to how I feel today...

I loved every season as a little girl, but especially summer. God was always there, but in the summers, He would provided me with some of my favorite ways to spend time with Him. The sun would rise early, and He'd be there, waiting for me to shadow Him as He led me through my day.

God was always there to greet me every morning. Even though sometimes I didn't want to sleep for fear that I will miss some time with Him, He would stand guard at night and there was never a lapse of time without Him present. God never slept in order to make the best of every opportunity. Our faith should also never sleep.

As I followed my mother outside as she prepared to hang the laundry, I was greeted with another glorious sunrise that warmed my face as I wondered how He felt when He painted the skies with hues of pinks and blues in various intensities... never making the same morning sky twice. Every work of His was an original.

The backyard seemed to stay suspended in shaded slumber, slowly unfolding as the earth warmed up in worship to the Creator. I would look over the backyard and imagine it breaking out into praise as the Son rose to shine upon it.

I'd wander outside with my mother, eagerly anticipating to discover the world in a whole new way. My clothing would still be plain, familiar, well worn and threadbare, but it still wouldn't matter to me. Barefoot, always. I'd walk softly through the grass still heavy with dew, and I'd lean closer to examine the way God used His imagination to create a creature so small that could weave such masterpieces so intricately... each one unique and special. I would smile as I imagined God creating dew each night as jewels to decorate the webs with... each drop perched perfectly on the thinnest of silk threads. I would struggle to keep from exploring more of His creations, eventually perching myself on the deck and marveling with my mother that the same God who invented everything around us, loves us even more than a mother loves her child, or a child loves her mother.

I'd watch her hang clothes on the clothesline, remarking the differences between the wet, limp clothes, heavy with weight, smelling strongly of something man-made... and the end process, something so light, fresh, clean, full of joyful sounds and textures, the traces of man-made cleanliness replaced with something pure and natural to the senses... In my mind, I'd compare it to our Christian walk... heavy and clumsy at first, so full of our human thoughts and human nature... but as our journey progresses, the more we soak in the Son's Light, the better the harvest He reaps. Faith in Him carries our burdens so lightly, the entire world is seen through fresh eyes, sounds of prayer and worship to Him can be heard and felt, our hearts cleansed and purified by a process no man could ever have orchestrated, and our senses are overwhelmed by it all.

What I would have tried to carry at the beginning, I now give over to God and place it in His hands. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light", says the Lord.


He has indeed increased my faith to where it can no longer be contained... faith, once stretched, can never return to it's original size.


It is in the process of emptying ourselves that we can let God pour Himself into our empty vessels that changes the weight and fullness of our lives.



Nothing I experienced that day, or any day, compares to spending time in His presence and inhaling Him deeply. It's an intoxicating love, a real, relentless and relevant love. I can't get enough of Him, and I can't resist spending time in His presence. If I could, I'd breathe Him in so that I could carry Him with me all day long, because although He is with me with every breath I take, I still want more of Him, want to know Him more, want to crawl into His lap and hang on to His every Word.

Just when I think I couldn't possibly love Him more... I do.


Although I still love my mom very much and always will, life around me has lost the feeling it had long ago. The things of the world are passing away in my heart, I am growing an intolerance to them over time, as God becomes the center of the focus. I'll never grow an intolerance to Him. His presence is permanently etched into my heart.


It may not make sense, but it makes perfect sense just the same... such a contrast between our love in this world and our love of God, that human love can fade into an illusion of hate when compared to the ultimate Love (Luke 14:25-27)


A little is much, but God is much more.

Compassion Economics

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Last night, we received our information packages for Lizbeth and Suwanna, our two new Compassion girls. As supper was cooking, I read through the information out loud to my husband and the children. The following is the basics of our discussion.



Lizbeth will be five next month, her birthday is March 25th.



She lives in the jungles of Bolivia, in the heart of South America. She also lives in my heart...



In Bolivia, 23% of people live on less than a dollar a day. The same statistics weren't available for the United States or Canada, perhaps because there are so few of us living on less than $30/month...



Imagine one in every five of us living on less than $30/month?


In our family alone, one of us would live in severe, devastating poverty. Which one of our children would not be able to go to school? Which one of our children would not have access to health care? Which one of our children wouldn't have enough to eat today? Which one would go to bed hungry? None, because we'd give up all that for our children.

When all four family members live in severe poverty, though, they all go without.



Lizbeth's parents both work as much as they can, when work is available... We took that opportunity to explain to the children that their father and I have both been blessed with salary jobs that provide a very stable, reliable, steady income, month in, month out. We are blessed beyond comprehension.


Lizbeth's parents each make approximately $50/month under the best case scenario. That's $100/month in a good month. Not every month is a "good" month.


Could we raise two children on $100/month?



We are committing $35 a month to help deliver Lizbeth from the effects of severe poverty. It may not seem like much... what can $35 a month do for us?


To them, it's a third of their income.

A THIRD of their income.

The kids were all sitting around the table, silenced, thinking... you could see the wheels turning... "How much is a third of our income? How much does that feel like to them?"


We asked them to estimate our monthly 'take home' income... and then we helped them see a "third of our income" from that perspective.

As a basic, hypothetical example, if we were making $5000/month, to us, it would feel as though we're given $1650 to help provide for one of our children.


Imagine if someone provided $1650/month to help provide for your child?


Not only does it help the child overcome poverty, but it gives the family relief in their own meager budget, which helps them feel a bit more hope.


We explained to the children that without this, Lizbeth would not be able to attend school, may be pulled into the work force at a young age, sometimes as young as 8 or 9 years old, out of desperation. Without an education, the cycle of poverty continues.



Where else can you give $35 and feel as though you're giving $1650? If that's NOT the best investment... what is?


Our $35 isn't much... but it's enough to change the future.


And that $35 doesn't just have impact on the immediate, temporary future... but eternally as well. Lizbeth will be provided with spiritual guidance and teaching, Bible study, and a church community. Her parents will also be able to attend classes.




We don't deserve any credit for what we're doing... we're not heroes, Jesus is the true Savior. We're simply following our hearts, and the Biblical teachings of Jesus. Taking care of the widows and orphans, taking care of "the least of these", loving and helping the poor as Jesus did, tithing in a way that really speaks to us.

We're trying to teach our children that it's not about us... it never was. Being here on earth isn't a "what's in it for us" experience... it's "how can we make the world a better place for someone else?" How can we live out the Gospel? In teaching them this, their father is also being exposed to the Gospel, to the notion that this isn't about him either... we're not just changing these Compassion girls' lives, we're changing our lives.




The kids were impacted by our discussion last night... they made the decision right then and there to begin to sponsor their own child as soon as they begin working. They believe in the difference they can make. They believe in the difference we can ALL make.





And then, we introduced them to Suwanna... our sweet Compassion girl from Thailand. She'll be 7 this October, and she lives with two siblings and both her parents.






Severe poverty came to mind when we spoke of Lizbeth to the children. We were just scratching the surface.



Suwanna, that sweet faced girl I am absolutely in love with, lives in Thailand.


When I asked the children to guess how much income Suwanna's family makes, with ONE more child to feed and provide for than Lizbeth's family... even I wasn't prepared for the imminent reality...



Her parents work all month when they can... and if they can work all month, they bring home twelve dollars.



$12.


Each.



Total family income? $24, best case scenario. PER MONTH.


We are providing this family with more than their monthly income in order to support their child.

Imagine if someone gave you more than $5000/month to support your child?


This left us all speechless.





Supper was ready, the air still heavy with what we had just discussed... as we said grace, I asked them to consider the food in front of them. Just a simple meal... pork chops, baked potatoes, salad, veggies... a meal simple for 5, for roughly $8.


If this were Suwanna's family, their income would provide for 3 such meals in one month.



Our one meal, last night, was worth a third of their income.



A meal worth one third of our income.



It just became a $1650 meal.



Pork chops, baked potatoes, salad, veggies... $1650.


If you look at it again as an $8 meal... 4.5 of those meals would equal one sponsorship.



It was all I could do to choke back the tears.



What can we give up in our lives, that we honestly don't need... our small comforts, the things we're attached to, in order to sponsor another child... What is $35 worth to us, compared to what it's worth to them?


Welcome to the Economics of Compassion. Don't expect to get involved with Compassion and not be moved... not be inspired... not be changed.




Do you feel led to take action?




If you live in Canada, click HERE
If you are in the U.S., click HERE


It will be one of the BEST investments you've ever, ever made.



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Temptation

Saw one today that I couldn't help but share... I don't know who to give credit to for this quote, but it was Tweeted by Mark Batterson, the pastor of a church in DC.

"Temptation isn't a PROBLEM - temptation is an OPPORTUNITY 2 show Christ how much we love Him."

Such truth. As much as it's tempting, I won't point out the paralells that came to mind... "Suffering is not a problem, it's an opportunity..." "Hardships aren't a problem, they're an opportunity..."

For today, I'll stick to temptation. How many temptation opportunities are we given, both bold and subtle, and what is the ratio of opportunities given, and opportunities not taken?


Sobering.

What if...

What if Christ had been tempted to not die on the cross, and refused to take the opportunity to show His love for us?

He was led not into temptation, but He delivered us........

How are our responses to temptation delivering our love to Him?



How are the choices we make when tempted showing Him our appreciation for the opportunity He took...



When we're tempted in our day-to-day life... to download a music file illegally, to say words we know will not glorify Him, to eat more than we should, to tell a white lie, to give in to a habit that does not glorify Him... how does our response to those opportunities reflect our hearts for Him?




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God Just Called To Say I Love You

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I caught tiny bits of a sermon on the radio the other day that captured my attention. I didn't hear the whole story, in fact, I heard less than two minutes of the sermon in total... but I heard enough to understand the message.

Have you ever had someone call or write to you for no other reason than to say "I just wanted you to know that you are loved..."? I think we've all been the recipients of those messages at one point or another. It gives me the warm fuzzies -- kind of like being wrapped in God's fleece.



I've been thinking about how God does this for me every day. It's in the little things He shows me or does for me that make me smile and say "That was a God thing!" or "God, I feel You near, I am humbled to know You did this for me..."


That's Him, sending me a little love note, just to show me that I'm loved. He certainly doesn't have to, but the thought that He wants to... brings me to my knees. How great is He?!




It doesn't have to be extravagant or complicated... sometimes, the simplest ones are the sweetest.




I saw His love for me expressed in a sweet way yesterday. I had received word that two of our Compassion girls, Emily & Martha, would no longer be part of the Compassion sponsorship program.

Emily's family moved outside of the area that Compassion serves, making it impossible for her to attend.


Martha has stopped coming to the Compassion center, and all the efforts of the Compassion staff to counsel, advise, and encourage her to return have not been fruitful.




I will be honest, my heart is heavy. The relationship we have built with these girls over the course of the last few years have made the end of these sponsorships very sad, but the Lord we serve wouldn't allow this to happen without a plan, even when we don't understand. He knows our hearts are hurting. I'm trusting that He will provide for these girls, and I'm praying that they'll not only remember how much we love them, but even more importantly, how much God loves them. I pray I've made a positive impact in their lives. I'm also praying that God will send them love notes and messages to remind them that He is near to them and that He loves them.



Compassion offered to choose two new children for us to sponsor, but I wanted to be involved in choosing them, so I told them not to add two new children to our profile just yet...

I went online to Compassion's website to do a search by date, but none came up for the date I was looking for on Compassion Canada's website. Not one to give up, I decided to see if the other Compassion websites had any children with this birth date, and I finally found one on Compassion Germany's website.

A little girl, with the birth date of March 25th. She's from Bolivia, and her name is... Lizbeth. A date that's very close to my heart, and a part of my best friend's name.


God just called, to say, "I love you..."





We're waiting for Germany to transfer her file to Compassion Canada so that we can start sponsoring her. The lady I spoke to at the Compassion office hadn't been asked to transfer a file from another country before, so I'm sure they're, uhm, appreciating the challenge right now :o} Actually, I've also asked them to transfer a child's file from Compassion Australia as well. [You know, just for extra practice.] The file from Australia is for a little girl named Suwanna from Thailand who stole my heart (with my permission, of course!)




Compassion has been so wonderful to work with. Everyone I speak to at the office (I know most of them by name!) have been fantastic in all the years we've been involved with them. If you've ever considered sponsoring a child, please consider Compassion.


If you can't afford to sponsor a child, please pray for the children waiting for sponsors, that God will match each of them up to the perfect sponsor for His purpose. Pray that in the meantime, they'll get glimpses of how much God loves them too.




For more information, please visit Compassion's website!

(If you are in the U.S., please select the U.S. website HERE!)


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American Christian Idol?

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I have stumbled upon a brilliant writer/pastor/blogger, and his posts have been on my mind. I love the way he challenges me to take a closer look, to reach deeper, think harder. I love the way he writes so beautifully about the things that matter.

One of his recent posts is on modern day idolatry. It is brilliantly written, and gives me much food for thought. I really want to share, but I don't know what the proper etiquette is for this. I don't want to take any credit for his thoughts/words, so I'll offer the link before I copy his post/questions. My answers are in red.

http://evotional.com/2010/01/4-ways-to-identify-idol.html


When we read about idols in the Old Testament, we tend to think of ancient people bowing down to carved wooden statues. How silly. How foolish. But most of us are just sophisticated idolaters. And it's no less silly or foolish. I'm convinced that idolatry is our root spiritual problem. Maybe that's why it's the first commandment of ten?

In the beginning, God created us in His image. We've been creating Him in our image ever since. Instead of worshiping the Creator, we settle for something less. We find a substitute god, small g. And here's the tricky thing. Most idols are good things, but those good things become bad things because they take the place of God. Instead of being the Ultimate End, God become a means to an end. We want something more than we want God. And we try to use God to get it.

So how do you identify an idol? Here are four idol identifiers:

1) What consumes your thoughts? Your daydreams are idol clues. If it's something you think about more than God then it may be an idol.

Right now, my daydream is sleep, fleece blankets and rest. I don't think about those more than I think of God, but it's becoming consuming. I'm praying for God to help me think of them a lot less. Especially in the early afternoon when my energy and stamina plummet for the remainder of the day, not to be seen again until after a four hour nap in early evening... Next to that would be my online time, although some convictions last weekend are helping me reassess my priorities and responsibilities.


2) What bad habits do you struggle with? Your addictions are idol clues. An idol is something you cannot control. It controls you.

Bad Habits: My tendency to respond to my children in ways that teach them the wrong way to respond to others... I see it in the way they respond to each other lately, and I recognize it as something that comes from my recent interactions with them, and it breaks my heart. I think that lately, it's been brought out by exhaustion and illness, but it's no excuse, and I want it to change. I need more gentleness and more love in the way I respond to them when I'm tired or not feeling well -- especially when I'm tired or not feeling well. I want patience to be my addiction.

Addictions: Until recently, it was my addiction to being available to others 24/7 and wanting to feel "plugged in" to what was happening in the lives of those around me, especially via the internet. It was my social life of sorts, I guess, since I don't have a local social life. That addiction was beginning to creep into my life at the cost of other priorities. Ouch. I still very much value being there for others, I always will, but I recently noticed while doing my devotions on Sunday afternoon that this addiction was affecting my time with God and family. When the phone rang and my email notifier also chimed, and my initial reaction was to drop my devotions and Bible Study time, and answer the phone as well as check my Inbox. I was willing to let that addiction come between me and God. My time with friends was also coming between me and my family time. Definitely convicting. I'm thankful that God helped me open my eyes to the choices I had been making. My computer's been off more often since, and the phone has gone unanswered a lot more often... and you know what? It feels more balanced.

God.
Family.
Other.

**Edited to add: It was my own temptation to drop everything when someone tried to get in touch with me -- this wasn't something they expected of me. I love keeping in touch with people, I appreciate the relationships God has given me through this blog or through the internet -- but I still need to keep my priorities in the order that God leads me to. So by all means, write, call, continue to keep in touch -- I'll do my best to keep in touch too, but sometimes, it may take a lil' while :)

There are other 'idols/addictions' that I've dropped along the way. TV is one of them. There's nothing wrong with TV in moderation, but last summer, I began to notice that most of what I was seeing on TV didn't honor God, and neither did my time spent watching those shows. It just became personally empty and meaningless for me. When I stopped watching TV, I suddenly had more time on my hands, and less garbage in my mind. Junk in, junk out. It's one of the reasons I rarely watch movies anymore, or the same reason I rarely read secular literature. I want what I do to feed my soul and nourish my spirit. "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life".

I honestly think that we can't just drop everything out of our lives all at once... God leads us to do this in His time. Also, what we feel convicted about may not seem like a problem to others. I love that when I step back and take a closer look at where my heart is and whether or not it's in line with where God needs it to be, the Holy Spirit takes over and helps me purge the stuff that doesn't give God glory. It's like those things suddenly taste different to my heart, making it much easier to just let them go.



3) What do you spend too much money on? Your spending habits are idol clues. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also!

I feel released from this more and more. I'm giving more consideration to purchases, and buying things less impulsively than I did years ago. I have always told my children to "sleep on it for 24-48 hours before making a purchase", and these days, I find myself following that advice more and more. I also have gotten into the habit of asking myself some tougher questions before making purchases outside the normal groceries/necessities. Why do I want this? Will I really use it? Is it worth it? What are my motives? Can I do without it? Does buying this fall in line with being good stewards of our finances? Last but not least, I often ask the deal-breaker... What could this amount of money do for the Compassion kids we sponsor? That usually brings it into perspective. It's something I'm still working on, but something close to my heart. I'm not yet where I feel I need to be.

The progress in this area is liberating, though... both for the mind, and for the budget.

As for too much money, would the cost of heating count? :o}


4) What produces your strongest emotions? Your intense emotions are idol clues. If you want to identify an idol, all you have to do is identify your emotional attachments.

God. Love. Faith. Compassion. Thirst for knowledge & wisdom. Giving. Family. Friends. Writing. Photography. Reading. Hugs. Orange Fleece. :o}


Identifying an idol takes a tremendous amount of soul searching. And you have to be brutally honest. But you cannot tear it down until you name it. If you're serious, I highly recommend Tim Keller's book Counterfeit Gods.




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Bible Vs. Idol

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I can't take the credit for this, but I thought it was brilliant... definitely gives food for thought.

Personally, a cell phone is the least of my worries... but it makes me wonder what other electronic device competes for attention. My laptop is the only thing I can think of, even though I do use it as part of my Bible Study tools every day, side by side with my Bible. I also use it to listen to Christian music. What if I used it less, and my Bible more... what if I used my online time for more Bible study, and less other stuff?

Something to think about....

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of an emergency?

This is something to make you go... hmm... where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing: Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

And no dropped calls!

Makes you stop and think, "where are my priorities?"

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A Vinedresser's "To Do" List

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On the way to church this morning, the first church service of 2010, I was reflecting on a post I had recently made on my family blog about wanting what God wants, leaving the changes up to Him.

One of the reasons I feel that way is because there is so much work to be done in me for Him, so much fire needed to refine me into His image... I can't work on every single one of them at once, but He can... I can't begin to choose which ones to work on, but He can. He knows His vineyard, He alone breathed life into it, and the harvest is His.

Then, in church, this scripture was shared...

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.
Psalm 40:5 - NIV

It took my breath away...

After the sermon, as everyone was mingling and socializing, I finished reading the rest of the scriptures that had been shared during the sermon, including this one. The following words, along with the words in Psalm 40:5, speak of where my heart is. It's not that there isn't room for improvement, it's that there is so much need for improvement, such a need for a Silversmith's refiner's fire, such a need for a Vinedresser... it's too important a task, too overwhelming a task to try to choose what He would want for me.

For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.
Psalm 40:12 - NIV

I can't imagine being in more capable hands, and I can't imagine how busy He is going to be... but I can already imagine how willing I am... because I am already there.

The pruning won't be easy... but God cares more about my character than about how comfortable I am... and the way I see it, I'm comfortable with being uncomfortable -- I am confident that the end results will be a fruitful spiritual harvest for His Kingdom.



Change me, Lord...

I am clay in Your hands...

Silver held carefully above the flame...

The vine in Your vineyard.



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