Christmas Gift -- A Letter

{Letter given to my mother for Christmas of 2009...  knowing there are many who have walked this journey, I share in the hope that you, too, will find healing and peace.  Posted with  her blessing.}

Maman,

     Over two thousand years ago, as Mary waited upon the birth of her precious baby boy, the entire world awaited with her in unaware anticipation of the birth of their Savior.  Each Christmas, I stop and try to imagine what must have gone through her mind as the impending birth approached…  He was not only her son, but God’s Son in the literal sense, and even though He would have a difficult life, He would also bring her the gift of peace and hope.  

His life would bring her peace and hope.

      His birth brought to us the most precious, priceless gift.  My personal gift to you this Christmas pales in comparison, but it is a gift from the heart; a gathering of my words.  As your daughter, I want my gift to be a parallel of what Jesus brought His mother that first Christmas…  peace, and hope.

     Just as I can not begin to comprehend how much Mary’s heart suffered in watching her precious boy grow up under persecution and evil, I can also not begin to comprehend how your heart suffered as you witnessed the destructive force of evil tear away at the fabric of your family.  

     Mary is no more to blame for the sins of the world than you were to blame for the sins of your husband, my father.  God knew Mary was a woman of honor, a woman of faith, a woman strong enough to trust with this most difficult situation…  Mary was chosen by God for this, because He knew that in her difficult journey, she would bring honor and glory to Him.  Out of every woman on earth at that time, He chose her.  Imagine how difficult it would have been for us humans to choose someone for this task?  God had no difficulty, He knew her heart.  


     Do you realize that even over two thousands years ago... yes, even then, even in Mary’s time on earth, God already knew He would choose you as the mother in our family?  He knew you were an honorable woman of faith, a woman strong enough to trust with this most difficult situation… a woman who would bring honor and glory to Him even though the challenges would be heartbreaking.

     Paul’s journey with Mary’s own Son inspired these words from Romans 5:3-5 “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”  I can’t help but wonder if Mary ever had a chance to hear the words that Paul wrote, the words inspired by her Son.  Those words have left a deep imprint on the hearts of Christians around the world almost 2000 years later.  Those words have left a deep imprint on my heart. 

     Mary’s Son inspired my life and my words… just as it is Mary’s Son Who inspired Paul’s life and Paul’s words…    We do not know if Paul’s words reached Mary, but today, it is my hope that my words will reach you, my mother.  I see you the same way I see Mary… a woman chosen by God to fulfill His purpose, a woman He knew would honor Him.  A Godly woman whose examples of strength and courage were woven into the tapestry of my life and helped me grow to be the woman I am today.  A woman who counteracted evil with love, patience, faith, determination, forgiveness and compassion.  A woman whose suffering brought perseverance, character, and hope.  A woman whose daughter's suffering also gave life to perseverance, character and hope.  A woman who deserves to rest in peace and hope, knowing that God is looking at her life right now and saying “Well done, my good and faithful child, well done.”  

     Just as Jesus did not look back upon His life and suffering and put any responsibility for this on His mother and just as Jesus was grateful for the way that Mary, His mother, raised Him honorably…  I do not look back upon my life and suffering and put any responsibility for the suffering on you. 


     I am grateful for the way that you, my mother, raised me.   I am grateful that God chose you.  Even when I was merely a few years old, I sensed that He knew the mother I needed and that He chose the very best.  It is my love for you and for God that carried me through the most difficult years.  It is my love for you and for God that helped me grab a hold of life and hang on.  I have never, ever questioned His gift of YOU.   Again inspired by the words of Paul…  “I thank My God upon every remembrance of you.”  (Phil 1:3)

     Please know that I have no regrets, I harbor no resentment… I have peace, love, hope and a grateful heart.  My life is much like the life of a flower crushed by circumstances – rather than succumb to the pressures of suffering, the flower lives out the purpose created in her by God, by releasing the pure fragrance of beautiful faith.  “What man meant for evil, God used for GOOD.”  Gen 50:20

     This Christmas, and from this day forward…  take this gift of peace and hope, and let it fill your heart to overflowing.  Underneath the glorious wrappings of this gift, you will find a hidden, priceless, life-changing treasure beyond measure…  healing.


You are loved with a grateful heart,


Jolaine 

Treasure Found

As a family of five very different individuals, we have learned to embrace our differences, even celebrate them.

When it comes to common interests, we’re not doing as well.

As the children get older and grow into their own tastes and personalities, we’re finding it increasingly challenging to find activities/hobbies that we can all take part in and enjoy together. Perhaps you’ve experienced the same?

While we have been on the lookout for such an activity for longer than I care to admit, I never expected to find the answer on a Compassion trip to Honduras in 2010. In fact, I didn't think I had found it at all until this past week.

One of our trip leaders is really into geocaching with her family, who happened to travel with her. I found myself listening intently while they talked about this activity they all enjoyed doing together. I loved the concept, and the potential for variety and adventure. I was eager to talk to the kids about it when I returned home.

When I did explain it to the kids, they were curious but it didn’t seem to really strike a chord with them. I had thought for sure that at the least, our army-mission-trailblazin’ oldest son Brandon (15) would have been the most eager to try it, but I seemed to be the only enthusiastic one.

While it seemed like a dead end, my enthusiasm persisted. There was only one small issue: I didn’t want to do this alone. This was meant to be a family activity.

I put my desires on a shelf, and prayed for opened doors while the dust collected.

When the boys stumbled unexpectedly upon the geocache closest to our home a while later, the geocaching bug nibbled... and seemingly fizzled.

As our Brandon’s birthday approached this year, I thought of a recent conversation in which he, his brother Joshua (13) and I spoke about our growing need for a fun family activity. I decided to take a step of faith and buy him a used handheld GPS eTrex Vista C, hoping he would try geocaching and enjoy it. Even more so, I hoped we could all take part in this activity as a family. At the least, he’d use it for hiking and add it to his “army gear”. It, uhm, wouldn't hurt that I could borrow it and go geocaching while running! *grin*

When the GPS came, I explained to the rest of the family what I had bought Brandon as a birthday gift. The youngest two kids listened as I explained, and asked many questions. It was obvious that the more they heard, the more enthusiastic they became.

I asked Joshua to help me figure out how to use the GPS so that we could make sure it worked well. At least that was the story. We knew what we weren’t admitting out loud -- he and I were both too eager to wait until mid-September to try it.

And so one treasure hunter turned into two.

We created a family account at www.geocaching.com, (RichardsonZoo), learned the basics, and started uploading a handful of nearby geocaches to the GPS. Since Brandon wasn’t home, the youngest two and I decided to try our first geocaching adventure. Joshua had already seen the first geocache, so we decided to use the GPS to officially find it more as an opportunity to learn how to use the GPS than anything else. In no time, we were navigating the GPS features with ease and before we even reached the geocache area, we were already planning our next outings.

We found the first cache, and easily gained another enthusiast when our youngest, Jillian (10) saw the trinkets that could be found inside a cache. She has always been the first to jump in to any family activity, but add tiny treasures, and she's like a bloodhound chasing a rabbit.

Two turned into three... that makes majority! So far, so good.

Back home, we logged our find on the website and downloaded more local caches. The following day, we logged four more finds.

We're already brainstorming for ways that we can create our first geocache, perhaps making it a yearly tradition for Brandon's birthday. I wondered at first how he'd feel about his gift being something to share with the whole family, but those feelings were short lived. He loves the adventures we have together and craves more. He also treasures family time, so now that there are three of us involved, he's more likely to join in.

Reflecting back on the success of this new activity, I couldn’t help but feel as though the treasures weren’t in the caches we were pursuing like modern day treasure hunters. No, nothing we could ever find in the coming days, weeks, months or even years of geocaching adventures will ever compare to the priceless treasure of family time.

Three out of five so far... will this activity end up being a five out of five? So far, my husband has not expressed any interest at all, which has really disappointed the youngest two, but perhaps in time, he will see how it's knitting the family together, and he won't want to miss out.

It definitely has potential.