Tuesday, March 24, 2009

"Grow" (2005)


I had written this for the kids and included it in a scrapbook page back
in 2005. From time to time, I like to go back and copy some old journaling
and include it in my blog in order to be able to look back through the years
and see how I've grown since then. Enjoy....

Brandon, Joshua and Jillian,

I am sure that I have shared my greatest love, my passion in life, quietly from time to time... if not by words, I hope I've shown it by example. The ability to express it with words or pictures and do it justice seems to elude me. Since it is such a large part of who I am, though, I feel it is well time that I share it through my scrapbook album.

My goal is to inspire you, Brandon, Joshua and Jillian. I want you to know not only who I am, but to find strength in who you are.

Simply put, my passion in life is a deep spiritual faith in God's love and purpose for us, especially in troubled times. It would be easy to resent the pain and conflict in my life, to ask "Why me, Lord?" time and time again, when it seems as though hardships have plagued my existence from my earliest years onward. I love that I can trust God, put my life in His capable hands, and say "Let Thy Will Be Done" with absolute faithfulness, even when it would sometimes seem that He has all but abandoned me. Instead of becoming bitter or angry when I suffer, I faithfully fall to my knees, and I express thankfulness that as God's beloved, when I am physically and emotionally crushed like the petals of a precious flower, rather than being destroyed, I am made stronger. My worship and love for God deepens. My soul, much like that crushed flower, emits a fragrance so beautiful and pure that angels weep in quiet understanding. That's how I GROW as a Christian, as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

Rather than to shelter us, like the most fragile of flowers, God lets our hearts bleed. It's His love for us that inspires Him to let us feel pain in its rawest form. He created us to withstand everything we experience in life; every ounce of joy and pain is redeemed by God to fulfill his purpose in us. Triumphs and heartbreaks make us GROW closer to Him, makes our faith GROW strong and pure, unwavering, perfect, and ultimately all-consuming.

God's love and purpose for us is my greatest love. As you GROW through life, may it become your greatest love.





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